pair a docks

Well folks, the weekend is upon us once again. Of course, all of my free-wheelin' hell raisin', beer drinkin' friends are chompin' at the bit to double their livers in size and I am still one clean machine. It's getting tough though, finding more excuses to drop my thirty days of deprivation and fall face first off the chuckwagon. Looks like I am supposed to go out for a birthday party tonight at the Big Bang. For those unfamiliar, the Big Bang is a piano bar filled to the brim with white trash disguised as normal people and tourists. Yeah, exactly, who the hell comes to St. Louis on vacation. I don't know, but they do, trust me, and where do they go, the Big Bang, that's right. The part that bothers me the most is the predictabiliy. Well, that and the soberness to add to my irritability. I know when I walk in the door some jackass college dropout who did a few cycles of steroids to dominate his fraternity football league and score a few chicks will certainly be there to carefully look over my ID, pretending he knows how to read as I am sure his kind are only fascinated by pictures. Once his brain is satisfied he will hand my id back and give me a look as to say, "your lucky, this time." I can't imagine this creature has a mother. Next stop, trashy blonde girl, no doubt much less pretty than she realizes, obsessed with celebrities, especially paris hilton and passed around the bar like a bottle of whiskey. She take me five dollars cover and gives me a cheery thanks, making sure to bat her eyelids. Once inside I will find my table of friends and give and recieve all appropriate hugs and handshakes. I'll be asked repeatedly if I want a drink and if I am sure I don't want to drink and have to explain why I am not drinking to nearly each and every person. Not convinced, they will ask one last time if I am really sure I don't want a drink. I will decline and they will remain confused at my response, seemingly unaware of why I would not be drinking. I'll finally settle into a manageable state until some redneck pays 10 bucks to hear anything from Sammy Haggar and the dualing piano's oblige with a best of Sammy medley and the crowd will go wild, I will of course be pushed closer to the edge. However, I could avoid all this pain by skipping and going to the opening night of the Gateway Cup in Lafeyette square where I would be more than pleased to watch some bicycle racing, eat a bratwurst and I am sure my diet coke would taste o so much better.

bablerized

The watch was a hit and apparently "similar" to her old one but "much nicer." Couldn't tell if she was being facetious. Just a side note to all my loyal readers, essentially a note to myself, read blog from bottom to top. It makes more sense, historically anyways. Yes, I do re-read my blog. It's for typos though, not self-love. I figure I can at least spell check this thing to make up for the lack of sentence structure and grammar. Spent 2 hours of running around getting to and from babler today and 28 minutes on the bike for a grand total of 7 miles. At a mere seven miles it was enough to push my heart up into my throat on more than one occasion. Raced down to the entrance and finally spun out in the top gear, well, that and I ran out of leg juice. Enough to hit 48mph but not enough to overtake Adam. Asshole got the jump on me anyways. Thought about hopping on his wheel initially but since he thrice refused to put on his helmet I worried rubbing wheels would have him drinking his supper out of a straw until his expiration date. Feeling so much better climbing these days and screaming on the descents. Finally have a good feel for the bike's capabilities or at least mine, which are far inferior, but finding my groove. I need to go out there one day and put in about 50 miles. My personal acclimation to the rolling hills of Missouri. Maybe if I get a hyperbaric chamber to sleep in I can finally catch Adam on a climb. I guess all in all, it's worth all the time getting there even if I only get to rocket down the big hill's for a few minutes. I could stop at Six Flags to get the same thrill, but at babler there are no lines, minimal white trash, and admission is free. However, I could not get a roasted turkey leg anywhere.

today's ride

I found out I can actually ride my bike around my loft. It is not that my loft is that big, rather, my lack of stuff makes for clear floorspace. Most things that I acquire over the years eventually find their way into a new home or into a filty dumpster. My last couch I owned I threw out into the street and the homeless drug it into the park to sleep on, pee on, procreate on, whatever. It was later set on fire by the dumpster. Actually, I think it was my old mattress that was set ablaze, not the couch. Anyways, the point of this ramble is that I missed my ride today. However, I did buy the girl a birthday present. It's a bulova watch, silver with a black face and crystals in the band. Only problem, it may be an exact replica of a watch her last boyfriend bought her. God I hope it isn't.

best laid plans

Well, didn't catch the lunar eclipse. I think it didn't start until 4:52am and I don't care if it were to only happen once in 5,000 years; there is no way I am getting up at that ridiculous hour. I also missed the gym today, pretty much didn't do anything I had planned too. I did go shopping for the girlfriends birthday present and came back with nothing. I found a robot vaccuum cleaner, a fondue pot, a scale, and 1/2ct diamond earrings. I bought none of them. Back to the drawing board tomorrow and this is my last chance. It's hard not to think about bicycle stuff when I am pricing other things, $299 for earrings, damn, does she know I could get a new campagnolo chorus carbon crank. She really doesn't know how much I sacrifice does she.

the wagon is nice...

A little wakeboarding yesterday, beautiful outside and not a cloud in the sky. Conditions were perfect for drinking ice cold mediocore pilser from recycled aluminum cans. Many were offered but all were refused. I am really sore today, about 10 minutes of boarding makes me feel like I have been in a car wreck. I can't beleive I can ride 75miles in a day with no problems but 10 minutes of wakeboarding breaks me. I think I need to make my physical activities a little more well rounded. So, today I incorporated about an hour of tennis into the morning activities. Tomorrow I plan to get back into the gym. After all, I do pay for it everyday so I might as well use it. Besides, I don't want my upper body looking like Michael Rasmussen. Heard something about a lunar eclipse tonight at midnight, I think I'll stand out in the yard for a while like a jackass and see what happens.

74.80miles

Ran out of daylight, and screw 100miles. Why should I ride for numbers? Great ride, saw plenty of turkeys, a few deer, almost ran over an unsuspecting groundhog. As I was cruising around the city at dusk, I thought, this is ridiculous. Am I just going around in laps so I can break 75miles? Maybe if I got out of bed before the crack of noon I could actualy get 100miles in, or if I would buy a headlight and tailight. Somehow the forsight to do these things has remained just out of my reach. Feeling pretty tired but the legs definitely had a lot left in them. Not sure I burned more calories than I consumed on the ride though. Spicy chicken burrito, ranchero taco, double decker taco, nutrigrain bar(strawberry), king size snickers, nature valley oats and honey bars, pop tarts(strawberry), and a hardee's double cheeseburger, also liquid calories in the form of one coca-cola and a qt. of purple powerade. That is pre-ride taco bell, a must for the serious athelete. Cruised by the tap room and they had some damn outdoor music and beerfest going on. I could actually smell all kinds of beers in the air. I just about went into a frenzy. Must fight the dark side. Screw beer. screw music. screw all of you. I am going to take a cold shower, then lie in the fetal position in the tub until my fingers are wrinkly.

Weekend

Well, weekend is here and of course I have about 1000 offers to go out and get drinks. Not happening, stop calling me people. Looking to do a big ride tommorrow, need to best me previous record of a measly 75miles. Shouldn't be that hard, well, who am I kidding, I still suck on the bike, it should hurt plenty.