Hop Harvest

If you like beer that has flavor I suggest you go to Schlafly Tap Room right now and order a hop harvest. I haven't riden my bike for over a week. the end

100 milestone

Saturday morning I set off to complete my first century. Left downtown at daybreak which came at 7am on the dot and headed for chain of rocks bridge. Rolled over to g.c. to pay my respects to the good people at stop-n-go and stocked up for my trek to Edwardsville. A beautiful day riding along the levee road but the early morning warmth hinted I would suffer in the hours to come. Stopped in E-ville at a little gas station to stock up on supplies for my trek to Pochahontas via Fruit road. This road was long and straight providing miles of peddling towards more road ahead in the horizon. At this point I was also starting to realize there would be few trees in the land of corn and beans to sheild me from the southeast wind that would try and break my spirit the entire trip home. Hit pochahontas road and rode it for what seemed like an eternity until I finally saw signs proclaiming "HOME OF GRETCHEN WILSON" and I knew I had finally made it. It was afternoon now and a good fifty miles of the trip were over but I was really starting to cook and stopped at the magic funderbunks gas station/restaurant to pound fluids and gaze at the locals. I was really surprised, although I shouldn't have been, at the sheer gerth of majority. People were huge, asses like I had never seen, chins reaching the five and six count all the while huffing discount cigarettes like they were Bruce Willis in Die Hard. I even thought of buying a funderbunks t-shirt to commemerate my experience but the sign read XXL and up. WTF. You start at XXL. However, everyone was polite and courteous as endorpins were running high post feed time. I stocked up again as I was about to embark on the unkown part of my journey. The heat had really spiked and I knew the next 40 miles would decide my fate. The google map directions proved to be quite accurate and I was happy to see local teenagers had not ripped down most of the street signs and I was able to navigate my way easily. Saw many beautiful things I am keeping to myself and really enjoyed most of the ride. I finally reached shobonier blacktop and was relieved to be on familiar territory, even if I was still 20 miles out. I was getting so hot I had to remove my helmet and partially undress just to keep from suffocating. I was running extremely low on water as well and had to stop at house along the way and request a refill. This bottle carried me long enough to reach a small amish store and I went inside to find cold drink. Litte amish kids were running the store and the were all poking there heads around the aisles to take a look at the strange bicycle guy. I think the elders respected my mode of transportation and therefore refrained from punishing me for exposing their children to a fully grown man in skin tight clothing. A mountain dew tasted good but left a strange sensation in my stomach and I knew the heat was making me quesy. I headed on and finally spotted the St. Peter grain elevators and it gave me a boost of energy. I foolishly smashed on the pedals for the last couple of miles and whizzed into town and to the St. Peter market. I picked up a gatorade and a bananna. I ate the fruit in 3 bites, which was not smart. I hooked up onto the last road of the day to my final destination and then came the wall. Smash!! I was done. 98 miles in and I had cracked. I shifted into the small ring and pedaled when my body allowed, head screaming, stomach aching, muscles misfiring, I was a mess. Finally came into town and coasted most of the way home. I hit the entrance to the driveway and the loose rock gave out from under me and my bike started to slide. I hastily unclipped and managed to get a foot onto the ground just in time to save myself from a finish line crash. I had ridden 104miles with no problems and almost lost it in the last 10 feet. Went inside and mumbled something to the family as I was unable to make sentences and sat in the cold shower for about 20 minutes. I got out and was still sweating and had to sit in front of a fan for about a half of an hour. It took at least two hours before I even felt like I was going to be ok. I was really close to overdoing it, really close. I felt like shit most of the night but was able to get in some food and fluids. Slept like a rock and got up to do 20miles of recovery in the am. Man I love riding at home.

Route 666

Hooked up with the MRT yesterday for another Granite City run, this ride is starting to feel just like groundhog day. Glided along the muddy mighty effortlessly for miles as a gusty south-bred wind launched me forward. Turkeys and middle-aged women on hybrids littered the trail and all took their time getting out of my lane. On autopilot, I arrived at the Stop-n-Go for another life sustaining powerade and a bag of TGI Fridays cheese quesadilla flavored chips. This is the fuel of corporate devils. Upon exiting this mini-mart of pleasure I decided today I would Stop-n-sit. Sprawled upon the sidewalk with a powerade and processed cheese mustache I began to soak it all in. Observing my environment I noticed the Hardee's accossed the street had "Welcome Route 66 people" on the marquee, or something to that affect acknowledging the local tourism. What could these visitors possibly be thinking? Due east of the stop-n-go is a closed up building that used to be Catfish Kelley's, no more fresh mississsippi catch of the day there. East of that is the "Anal Motel". I beleive the sign used to read Canal. This is the only hotel I know of in existince that has a Busch sign located directly below its' own, proving yet again A-B has left no corner of the earth unadvertised. You may get ass-raped during the night but at least you can head for the mountains first. Scattered about are various truck-stop bars and a very interesting massage parlor/dui center duoplex, covering that small demographic looking for legal representation and a rub-n-tug in one convienient location. I know, at first it seems ridiculous but then it makes sense. Almost everytime I have visited my lawyer I could really use a good rub down and seminal storage cleansing afterword. The other strange and mysterious buildings, all with the appearance of facilities geared for an underground sex slave operation, pepper the remaider of prime real estate. Location, location, location. As I arose from my sidewalk day dream I remounted my steed and pumped full of devil juice began to spin toward the metal deck bridge. As I crested the top I could see in the distance a geo storm(the car), oh yes, a rare citing indeed. This monument of automotive engineering and cost-cutting productivity was whipping fast and furious 180's on the gravel levee road. Pulling on the E-brake and a fast heel toe. My first response was, "what a bunch of stupid faggots." However, as I started my descent I noticed the car was headed toward the entrance of the bridge and I decided to stop to see where they were going. What a pussy I was, one minute I am laughing at the contents of this aqua colored gas-powered turd. The next, I am fearing that the sight of me in spandex will trigger their deepest homoerotic fantasies and they will rectify their mutual awkwardness by beating me senseless with a lead pipe. Luckily the car turned away and stormed off in the distance. I must stop here and apologize for using the word "faggot." The gays are a good clean people and they never did nothin' to me. Actually, come to think of it, my neighbors are gay and they are filthy people. These guys look like people truck drivers would scoff at for lacking proper hygeine. What I am saying is don't buy into their sterotype of cleanliness, gays are really filthy. Well, the creativity tank was running low on fumes to begin with and I am now stalled. Rode bike rest of way to city. Got home. Very tired. Ate and slept, bed was warm. Artist Formerly Known as Midnight Rider out..

Name change

Due to the overwhelming response from my fans and in honor of their request Midnight rider will now be known as Aggro Jo Jr. I do this based on the fact that I feel a strange connection with this cyberspace fella bringin it to ya live from Freeburg, IL. His post today about the magic duo of Hall and Oates. For two years straight at South Central High School in the small farm town of Farina, IL, my friend Drew and I listened to Hall and Oates without fail. I am serious. Two years on our trek to and fro we listened to nothing else. Hall and Oates every day, no questions asked. Also, the black women at my work go wild when I perform one of these tasty morsels of pop culture. During my senoir year of high school basketball we were defeated the first round of the sectional by none other than the midgets. My only request is that at some point someone tell me what the fuck Aggro Jo means.

Budweiser Semi

My new tactic for riding at speeds faster than my limited abilities allow is to grab on the back wheel of a budweiser totin' 18-wheelin' big rig. I found that making runs up and down broadway and hanging out at the brewery actually allows to catch one of these road devouring beasts. Previous attempts to motorpace with metrobuses and garbage trucks have proved unsuccessful due to their frequent stoppage. However, a good run of green lights and minimal traffic allows one to mega-draft one of these slow starting windsmashers. Obviously there is some danger involved but I can assure you it's worth it and most importantly you will look cool to all your friends. After all, what's more important than impressing people? I know, I can't think of anything either. So, brave soldiers of the lyrca army, ride smarter, not harder. Use your intellect to bump that ave. speed so at the watercooler you can tell the one other pussy guy in your company who gives a shit about bikes your pro-worthy numbers and he can smell the superiority oozing from your pores.

Inspiration

Wait, nope, thought I had some, it's gone.

MCT

Well, yet again I jumped onto the saddle to traverse the grand Mississippi River Trail. I took off at a leisurly pace as I had just downed two spring rolls and a half a pound of chicken pad thai. (If you don't know what these are stop eating hamburger helper every meal) I only took one bottle yesterday because I had planned on a short ride. I made my appearance at the Stop-n-Go and another 89cent powerade was mine for the taking. Strawberry fruit pie to go, thank you. While in the store I noticed a wierd sound coming from my right shoe, as I looked down I saw that a screw from my cleat was about to fall out. I pulled a dime from the change I had recieved and made a quick repair and I was off. This time when I rolled up to Lewis and Clark I decided not to take the turn to Alton, after all, I am tired of remounting after each damn gate crossing, plus their was a nasty headwind brewing up for my return and after all, this was supposed to be a short ride. I bravely went forth on New Poag road, despite the fact it was horrendously busy and I was going to have to ride on a shoulder littered in rocks, dead raccoons, and kittens. I am serious, there were dead kittens. After almost getting pummeled on a few bridges I decided I had to get off the road for a bit and turned into the town of Poag. So, this town was another madison co. gem that I had never discovered. Dirty rednecks were sitting in lawn chairs smoking cheap cigarettes and admiring all of the junk they had collected to take place of what would be a lawn in normal society. There was a vegtebale stand, and I am pretty sure some of the produce had a sign that said free on it. Sure, that's what they want me to believe. As I go up to pick out a free squash some hillbilly with a double barrel will walk out and force me into a little tin shanty with a dirt floor. No one is sticking a gag ball in my mouth today I thought, and picked up my speed. Upon exiting I saw a biker turn onto wanda road and I blindly followed. I took wanda to the beginning of a place called watershed trail. I wasn't for sure where exactly I was but I was back on a bike trail and that was good enough for me. As I moved down the trail I was being smacked in the face by tons of little bugs. These things were hitting my arms, face, head, they were everywhere. The impact of them hitting my body was actually killing them, it was wierd. Every mile or so I would have to stop and takke my helmet off to clean the dead insects from my skin. Despite this the path was beautiful. The green trees seemed to grow together over the top of the trail and it gave the effect that you were traveling through a big tunnel. The trail itself was littered with the first dead leaves of fall, I felt like I was in a scene from a movie. My growing imagination also told me I needed to get refreshments. Eventually I ended up somewhere in Edwardsville and back onto New Poag. I knew this would take me back to where I needed to go and I needed to get there fast as I had been out of food and water for quite some time. I passed by the entrance to SIUE, scared a few deer away from crossing the road and eventually made it back to the Lewis and Clark center. One more stop in G.C. for a 64oz ice water and snickers bar, best 80cent I ever spent, and I was headed for home. Battling a stupid headwind the whole way I was pretty gassed when I arrived back at home. Wait, my day isn't over yet. Some bum comes running up to me, "hey man, I gotsda ting you need for dat bike. I gots lights, tail lights, head lights, 5 dolla a piece and Ill trow in da two dbd's." Funny thing was, he was right, I actually did need both of these things. I went upstairs and got him ten bucks and he gave me the gift bag of stolen property. However as I looked in the bag at the dvd's I realized he had got me. One of the dvd's was Kevin Costner's career defining film "Waterworld." I will surely never be able to give this away, let alone sell it to someone. He had tricked me and passed on his curse of Waterworld. I can already start to feel it change me.

speedy, kind of?

Well, today I mounted my carbon fiber weaved steed once again for yet another ride for the records in spandex history. The ride was MRT, again. I decided I was tired of looking down at my ave speed and continually reading 14.8, 15.1, a good days effort yielded 16. Was I really this slow or is it all the stoplights and assbags who pull out in front of me that kick the life out of my average effort? Today I set my timer at the start of the trail and stepped on the gas, woooosh, I was off. Pretty sore pretty fast considering my 1.5mile warm up. Fighting off the cramps and wierd muscle spasms for the first 5 miles and I finally broke free of my own bodies incapabilities. Cruising really good and hammered accross the levy at about 24mph. About 20 minutes in my mind started tricking me, slow down it said, save yourself, you'll do a century sunday, c'mon take it easy pal. He almost got me when I realized it was just the inner pussy in me trying to get out, "you again" I said, and I beat that mother back into its deep, dark hole and mashed on the gas once again. Hitting the chain of rocks I was pretty winded but low on fuel and the only place that can quench my wild thirst is the magic Stop-n-Go. With 89cent powerade on my mind I continued my newly found furious pace and screeched into the parking lot. Checked my stats. 15miles. 20.2mph. Holy shit! I may actually become a real certified Cat 5 mediocore bike racer someday. HOOOrayy!! My carmel crack filled snickers was a junkies delight and the powarede was exceptional. I remounted my childs toy and headed back, ugggh , not feeling so hot. Sugar overload and my lack of cool down has left me in a bad way. Nevertheless I realize I have got to put forth some effort to salvage as much of this av speed as I can, after all, I got to blog about it when I get home and all my readers out there are pulling for me. I really never got rid of the stiffness and a wind seemed to kick up on the way back, always does, as I had absolutely no tailwind on the way out, no way. Battled against it but could only comfortably manage about 15mph on the levy. I couldn't watch my speed disapate so I turned the comp to a new function, I could'nt bear to watch. Well, I finally loosened up again but really didn't have a lot left in me so I put forth what effort I could. Reaching town I looked at my stats once again 32miles. 18mph. Well, still a victory as far as I am concerned. All in all, its been a good week and I have around 185miles so far. Stayed tuned to find out what happends next........

recovery

Did a recovery ride yesterday, snail slow. I flatted at about 1 kilometer into the ride and almost threw in the towel. I slowly changed my tube due to my lack of mechanical skills and rode back to the house to check the tire pressure. Back to 110psi and I was out the door, again. Went up to forest park to do some cruisin around and ended up riding about 20 miles or so. oh, also hit the gym to to back and shoulder before the ride.

Today, damn my back is sore. I am trying not to overwork my sweet muscles in the gym but seems like no matter how little I lift I am sore as hell. Back on the bike today and rode up to Fo Po again and met Adam. My pace of course immediately picked up and within about 2 minutes we were screaming up a hill at 28mph. Why do I ride with this guy again? We eventually tired of riding continuous loops and shot up to Clayton and stopped in at Fit Pro to oogle at all their gadgets. Its like high quality bike porno. Also, the Dogfish team kit came in today!! Stoked to throw my 20dolla nashbar jersey to the ground and pretend to be a real team cyclist. Never raced a damn day in my life but I sure look like I do now. Anyways, the kit is great, really comfortable and slides on like a lambskin condom but looks even better. Rode about 30 miles today with a few good efforts. Gonna try for the century on Sunday but don't know if the girl will be to happy about that considering it is one of the only days off we have together. But shit, man, I gotsa ride my bike.

ps. Forward this to 1,000 people in the next 30 seconds or you will be eaten by syphillitic rabbits.

tour of missouri/tour of alton

Sunday I was able to watch the last stage of the tour of missouri roll into town. I rode my bike around the team buses and was able to ride along side most of the riders heading toward the check-in area. Looking at their whisper thin physiques, ultra-expensive bikes and mega-cool kits, I felt like I had brought a knife to a nuclear warhead fight. However, I was not deterred by the fact that I looked like a wanna be jackass getting in the way of the riders. At the start of the race I was handed a pile of t-shirts by one of the support cars and told to pass them out. I also got a discovery water bottle when one of the guys riding by tossed it out, not for sure which rider though. So, that concludes my free bike junk I procured that day. Race was great, rode around the course to catch it at a few different angles then rode on the course after the peloton went by. It was great riding on forest park with not one damn car. If only in my dreams... Big crash at the finish when brad huff hit the barriers and went end over end. Pretty spectacular, but I actually missed it. Seeing my first pro bike race gave me cycling induced fever.

Yesterday I hooked up with Kleeman to due a mrt/mct ride. I rode up to Barnes and met up with him then we spun down to the river. Felt really good on the way out and were riding low to mid 20's with no problem. About 20miles in we stopped and had gas station snacks. 89cent powerade. A snickers. This is fuel of the gods. Blasted our way up to Alton and by this time I could tell the wind was really picking up and would punish us later for taking advantage of it on the way to one of America's most disgusting cities. Cruised into town and had about 40miles on the day but felt great. Decided to eat a gas station sandwich and a 44oz water, half of which I spilled. Streets, signs, people, everything in this town is covered in dirt. White trash and the ghetto fabulous live in some sort of utopian harmony in this town. I swore at any moment in time the kkk lookin asshole in front of me and the black panther behind him were going to shank each other but everyone remained cordial. I wonder if the trend of awfulness continues up and down the mississippi. Every town around here, Venice, Brookly, Granite City, etc. These towns are like human sewage pits. Emitting their poisionus gases and suffocating all life surrounding them. As we head back from Alton, a 25mph headwind was waiting for us on the levy. We crested the top of it and, wham!!!! It was all I could do to keep my bike upright. The wind was gusting and blowing it all over the road. Ben and I decided to work together and we started taking pulls in the wind while the other took a break in the draft. This proved to be much more effective but still miserable. By the time we hit the chain of rocks bridge the sun was setting fast and we had to drop the hammer. For the next 12 miles we were able to ride about 20mph into the headwind the whole way. This was probably the single biggest effort I have ever done on a bicycle. Taking long steady pulls over about 1/4mile each we were able to devour everyone on the trail making their way back to the city. About two miles out we finally caught a guy who was riding pretty fast. He of course increased his efforts when we had him in sight but eventually I broke away and buried his ass too. Hit the finish and felt like by brain stem was 200 degrees. I was close to passing out so dropped out of the big ring and rode about 7 miles of recovering before calling it quits. Showered and hit bottleworks for some goat cheese dip, a pitcher of water, pumpkin ale and a curry chicken sandwich. Food tastes so good when you bring your body to the point of total collapse. I think I'll try that again this week.

pumping iron

Back in the gym, finally. Feels good to have some non-bike related muscle soreness. However, cycling has made me into a lean machine. Since I started cycling in the last four months I've only put 1200 miles on my bike and my body has undergone an amazing transformation. Granted, I still have some remaining deposited college fat around my midsection but it is retreating by the week. I feel better than ever and I owe it all to my bike. What I am trying to say is, bike, I think I love you.

9-11

Already getting burnt out on blogging. Been riding some, nothing great to speak of. Seems like I keep heading to forest park and doing laps, pretty boring. Although I have started treating my carbon fiber racing machine like a mountain bike by hoping curbs, riding through grass, riding trails full of debris, gravel, etc. Makes for a more exciting ride but surely not good on my bike. I can't believe how many years it has been since the attacks in NYC.time flies.

too much time off?

Rode today. Like shit of course. Maybe it is my week of doing nothing, maybe it is the sweltering heat, maybe it was my poor breakfast......... What a dog turd of a ride, of course, that is presuming dog turd's can cycle, which they can't. But if they could I am pretty sure that is how they would ride. Going to tnw and then to look at "fixies" for my bday. At least I can go watch people who know how to ride their bikes. peace out.

She only wants me for my bike, but I don't care.

That's all. Just thought you should know.

I cracked..

Well, I finally ruined my sober streak toward thirty days. I am not really surprised nor were any of my friends. Made it about two weeks before I had to throw in the towel. Two consecutive days of going out to bars with friends will do that to you. Not really the best environment for me to be in but had no choice. Too much damn stimuli, I was like a pedophile in a playground. DISCLAIMER (Previous statement even offends me and I wrote it). However, all is not lost as I am learning to control my etoh intake and learning not to chase that buzz, because you never catch that slippery bastard. The initial lift I get after about 2 or 3 beers is really the best alcohol will make me feel. Beyond that the alcohol continues to dull my senses and the "good feeling" becomes less and less and my payment the following day to the gods of gluttony balloons. Definitely feeling some guilt and regret today but whats done is done.

gateway cup

Man this is a great weekend. Went to Lafeyette Square and watched the elite, 1/2 race last night. Schmatz dominated the field to take the top prize and disaster was averted on the final lap when a rider touched his pedal cornering and smacked the pavement hard. Luckily, most everyone avoided the crash and only a pack of 20 or so got through to break away. Survived the landing last night but the trip wasn't without pain. Watched some of the wash ave. race today, weather is gorgeous. Well, not riding much but enjoying the spectating. Nothing exciting to report.

pair a docks

Well folks, the weekend is upon us once again. Of course, all of my free-wheelin' hell raisin', beer drinkin' friends are chompin' at the bit to double their livers in size and I am still one clean machine. It's getting tough though, finding more excuses to drop my thirty days of deprivation and fall face first off the chuckwagon. Looks like I am supposed to go out for a birthday party tonight at the Big Bang. For those unfamiliar, the Big Bang is a piano bar filled to the brim with white trash disguised as normal people and tourists. Yeah, exactly, who the hell comes to St. Louis on vacation. I don't know, but they do, trust me, and where do they go, the Big Bang, that's right. The part that bothers me the most is the predictabiliy. Well, that and the soberness to add to my irritability. I know when I walk in the door some jackass college dropout who did a few cycles of steroids to dominate his fraternity football league and score a few chicks will certainly be there to carefully look over my ID, pretending he knows how to read as I am sure his kind are only fascinated by pictures. Once his brain is satisfied he will hand my id back and give me a look as to say, "your lucky, this time." I can't imagine this creature has a mother. Next stop, trashy blonde girl, no doubt much less pretty than she realizes, obsessed with celebrities, especially paris hilton and passed around the bar like a bottle of whiskey. She take me five dollars cover and gives me a cheery thanks, making sure to bat her eyelids. Once inside I will find my table of friends and give and recieve all appropriate hugs and handshakes. I'll be asked repeatedly if I want a drink and if I am sure I don't want to drink and have to explain why I am not drinking to nearly each and every person. Not convinced, they will ask one last time if I am really sure I don't want a drink. I will decline and they will remain confused at my response, seemingly unaware of why I would not be drinking. I'll finally settle into a manageable state until some redneck pays 10 bucks to hear anything from Sammy Haggar and the dualing piano's oblige with a best of Sammy medley and the crowd will go wild, I will of course be pushed closer to the edge. However, I could avoid all this pain by skipping and going to the opening night of the Gateway Cup in Lafeyette square where I would be more than pleased to watch some bicycle racing, eat a bratwurst and I am sure my diet coke would taste o so much better.

bablerized

The watch was a hit and apparently "similar" to her old one but "much nicer." Couldn't tell if she was being facetious. Just a side note to all my loyal readers, essentially a note to myself, read blog from bottom to top. It makes more sense, historically anyways. Yes, I do re-read my blog. It's for typos though, not self-love. I figure I can at least spell check this thing to make up for the lack of sentence structure and grammar. Spent 2 hours of running around getting to and from babler today and 28 minutes on the bike for a grand total of 7 miles. At a mere seven miles it was enough to push my heart up into my throat on more than one occasion. Raced down to the entrance and finally spun out in the top gear, well, that and I ran out of leg juice. Enough to hit 48mph but not enough to overtake Adam. Asshole got the jump on me anyways. Thought about hopping on his wheel initially but since he thrice refused to put on his helmet I worried rubbing wheels would have him drinking his supper out of a straw until his expiration date. Feeling so much better climbing these days and screaming on the descents. Finally have a good feel for the bike's capabilities or at least mine, which are far inferior, but finding my groove. I need to go out there one day and put in about 50 miles. My personal acclimation to the rolling hills of Missouri. Maybe if I get a hyperbaric chamber to sleep in I can finally catch Adam on a climb. I guess all in all, it's worth all the time getting there even if I only get to rocket down the big hill's for a few minutes. I could stop at Six Flags to get the same thrill, but at babler there are no lines, minimal white trash, and admission is free. However, I could not get a roasted turkey leg anywhere.

today's ride

I found out I can actually ride my bike around my loft. It is not that my loft is that big, rather, my lack of stuff makes for clear floorspace. Most things that I acquire over the years eventually find their way into a new home or into a filty dumpster. My last couch I owned I threw out into the street and the homeless drug it into the park to sleep on, pee on, procreate on, whatever. It was later set on fire by the dumpster. Actually, I think it was my old mattress that was set ablaze, not the couch. Anyways, the point of this ramble is that I missed my ride today. However, I did buy the girl a birthday present. It's a bulova watch, silver with a black face and crystals in the band. Only problem, it may be an exact replica of a watch her last boyfriend bought her. God I hope it isn't.

best laid plans

Well, didn't catch the lunar eclipse. I think it didn't start until 4:52am and I don't care if it were to only happen once in 5,000 years; there is no way I am getting up at that ridiculous hour. I also missed the gym today, pretty much didn't do anything I had planned too. I did go shopping for the girlfriends birthday present and came back with nothing. I found a robot vaccuum cleaner, a fondue pot, a scale, and 1/2ct diamond earrings. I bought none of them. Back to the drawing board tomorrow and this is my last chance. It's hard not to think about bicycle stuff when I am pricing other things, $299 for earrings, damn, does she know I could get a new campagnolo chorus carbon crank. She really doesn't know how much I sacrifice does she.

the wagon is nice...

A little wakeboarding yesterday, beautiful outside and not a cloud in the sky. Conditions were perfect for drinking ice cold mediocore pilser from recycled aluminum cans. Many were offered but all were refused. I am really sore today, about 10 minutes of boarding makes me feel like I have been in a car wreck. I can't beleive I can ride 75miles in a day with no problems but 10 minutes of wakeboarding breaks me. I think I need to make my physical activities a little more well rounded. So, today I incorporated about an hour of tennis into the morning activities. Tomorrow I plan to get back into the gym. After all, I do pay for it everyday so I might as well use it. Besides, I don't want my upper body looking like Michael Rasmussen. Heard something about a lunar eclipse tonight at midnight, I think I'll stand out in the yard for a while like a jackass and see what happens.

74.80miles

Ran out of daylight, and screw 100miles. Why should I ride for numbers? Great ride, saw plenty of turkeys, a few deer, almost ran over an unsuspecting groundhog. As I was cruising around the city at dusk, I thought, this is ridiculous. Am I just going around in laps so I can break 75miles? Maybe if I got out of bed before the crack of noon I could actualy get 100miles in, or if I would buy a headlight and tailight. Somehow the forsight to do these things has remained just out of my reach. Feeling pretty tired but the legs definitely had a lot left in them. Not sure I burned more calories than I consumed on the ride though. Spicy chicken burrito, ranchero taco, double decker taco, nutrigrain bar(strawberry), king size snickers, nature valley oats and honey bars, pop tarts(strawberry), and a hardee's double cheeseburger, also liquid calories in the form of one coca-cola and a qt. of purple powerade. That is pre-ride taco bell, a must for the serious athelete. Cruised by the tap room and they had some damn outdoor music and beerfest going on. I could actually smell all kinds of beers in the air. I just about went into a frenzy. Must fight the dark side. Screw beer. screw music. screw all of you. I am going to take a cold shower, then lie in the fetal position in the tub until my fingers are wrinkly.

Weekend

Well, weekend is here and of course I have about 1000 offers to go out and get drinks. Not happening, stop calling me people. Looking to do a big ride tommorrow, need to best me previous record of a measly 75miles. Shouldn't be that hard, well, who am I kidding, I still suck on the bike, it should hurt plenty.

MRT

Got up early to get my sister to the airport, ok, I didn't actually drive her there but I did drive her 6 blocks down the street to dump her on the nearest metro. Gotta conserve energy, Al Gore would be proud. Since I was already up and so fresh from my 4 wonderful hours of sleep on my tiny loveseat, see I am not inconsiderate, I gave her the bed; I figured I might as well ride. As tempting as it was to get up and curl under the softeness of my supierior cotton sheets, the thought of sleeping next to my sister and waking up in some sort of awkward spoon position was enough to keep me at bay. Headed down to the riverfront trail at a pretty leisurly pace. A few miles in I started to feel better and really start spinning, I reached the chain of rocks pretty quick but was low on fuel as always so I had to make the trek over the the lovely cigpornboozomart or whatever that place is called. Opted for the big red powerade and a strawberry pie in parchment sleeve. This bad boy had a mega 500 calories and would keep me going for a while. Headed over to granite city where I found various pieces of white trash already drinking budweiser at 9 in the morning. Sadly, I was slighty jealous. This is day 2 and I already have beer envy. Well, riding around granite turned out to be a diesel exhaust inhaling shitbag of a ride so I tucked my tail and headed back to the trail. By this time the angry river has kicked up a nice headwind for me to battle all the way home. Stopped back at chain of rocks and tried to take care of business in the eco-john but it was hot as shit and wiping my ass with a brown paper towl was not going to treat my healing taint nicely. So, back on the bike and back into town. Didn't really hit it to hard, trying to save some legs for saturday to see if I can do my first century. 43.43 miles in total with an average that is too low to publish. Damn headwind.

Sober

I have decided that I have got to try something new. I need to give up the booze for 30 days. For some of you, I am sure this seems like an easy and effortless task, but for those with a mighty thirst for the "occaisional drink" this is harder than giving yourself papercuts to your eyelids. Not that I feel compelled to drink all the time or am even overconsuming or abusing alcohol on most occasions. However, when looking down the family tree I have seen a pattern of males who have been overpowered by the effect of alcohol. I am sure none of these guys thought their recreational activies would one day effect them and their famalies, but sadly they did. I don't want to use my twenties just like I used college as an excuse to over imbib. A life without drinking the wines and beers I truly love is tough to imagine. A life without hangovers, cost of alcohol, a healthy liver and etc., is nice to imagine. 30 days seems like a good time to experience life without the bottle and see what is possible. I am sure I'll have many people try to throw me off course and snicker and predict my seemingless demise, so be it. The problem is that too many social situations arrive that call for cocktails. Birthdays, holidays, wednesdays, whatever. If you have never tried to completely remove alcohol from your diet, trust me, it's harder than you think. First week, no problem. Second week, getting harder but adapting to saying no. By the third week, each neon budweiser emblazoned window display looks like the lights of heaven and the memory of a glorious cold brew cleansing your palate and then your soul will turn you into a desperate, broken and thirsty beast. You can usually find any excuse, the easiest being well, I made it over two weeks. I deserve a beer, damnit. This time period will lapse my birthday on sept 8 and my girlfriend bday on aug 30th. Good enough excuses to put it off another month and run to 7-11 and pick up a sixer of schlafly's finest. See, what a pussified way out. I am too comfortable too often and things need to get shaken up a bit. Here we go.

and on the 7th day....

I finish my week on today. Now, for all of you squares working 9-5 for the man, I will explain. I work 7 days on from 12-10pm and in reward get 7 days off, from the man of course. Week looks good, sister in town from Cali, nothing planned and weather looks like a stellar 95 degrees all week, perfect conditions for some tortuous rides along the dirty mississippi and into the dirtier metro east. A nice application of my girlfriends skin firming lotion to my ass cheeks and all is well down south today. A little soreness in the legs but that is to be expected when you take two weeks off then return with a metric century, especially for a guy that weighs 200+ lbs and is in o.k. shape. Been drinking Schlafly American Pale Ale Expedition Reserve. Good stuff, one or two a night should make your world seem o so much better. That's pharmacist recommended folks.

My taint hurts

Back on the bike today for the first time in about 2 weeks, damn I missed my bike. Took off from downtown to head to Forest Park to meet up with Adam and Ben. Ben bought a new TT bike and is anxious to try it out, I obliged with a Fo Po ride although slightly suicidal on a Sunday. Pounded a shitty cliff bar and slipped into my spandex superhero outfit. First mile on my bike I felt like I was sitting way off the ground, had trouble cornering, it was so awkward. Pretty much like the first time I ever got on a roadie. Must of been all that riding on the beach cruiser last week in key west. Anyways, warmed up on the way to the park and finally got into a groove, ahhh, there it is. Hit the park and looking for h20 right away. The tap water at my house was a cool 85 degrees, ridiculous and no ice of course as I am too lazy to refill the trays, yes I still use trays. Got the bottles topped off and saw Adam and Ben whizzing by, I shouted but to no avail. So I deftly mounted my steed and took off through the grass eventually connecting with some pavement and the chase was on. I caught up about a quarter mile later and went flying by. I sat up and let them catch up, we took a warm up lap the the race was on. Pretty fast ride considering all the nothing I had been doing up to this day. Felt really good to be riding with friends and the legs were feeling fresh!! Hit the park a few times and they both had enough. I turned my carbon fiber beast toward downtown and spun on. Ran into an anti-war rally and they asked me to join, I obliged as I would be followed by stl's boys in blue all the way to city grocer, my true destination, plus the rallys pace of 5mph probably wasn't going to get me the miles I wanted for the day. Gatorade and a milky way from the store, wow, cold fluids are sooooo goood. Hit the riverfront trail and headed up to Chain of Rocks. Supplies were running low so had to make the trek over to GC now. Coming down the metal deck bridge a saw a couple biker dudes, not spandex but leather, and both of these goateed assbags were blocking my path. I thought this might not be good but they were lost and looking for Chain of Rocks themselves. I informed them they were but a short 3 miles or so away and they were super excited. At this point I think they realized my bike was superior to theirs and they probably went out and bought spandex the next day. No need to thank me boys. A few hundred yards up the road I ran into the rest of the gang and they flagged me down as well. Just like the first batch of wanderers they were amazed at my knowledge of the lay of the land. Victory is mine! Cruised to this little convienient store, and convienient it was if you were looking for ooodles of porn, cigs, and cheap booze. This place had it all. Fortunately they had some more gatorade, fiji water(classy) and I picked of a pack of jerky. Feeling pretty good now and well over 40miles, but time to head back. Pound my awesome refreshments and pass by the bikers taking their pics in front of the bridge. By this time I am noticing that my bum is becoming a bit uncomfy so up out of the saddle and back down I go, up and down, up and down. Of course, all this horsin' around out of the saddle has cost me much of my precious energy. Get down town and only need about 5 more miles to get 100kilometers in. Head to soulard and find this amazing water shooter thing hooked up to a hydrant. I stand under it and the cool mist, more like rain, feels like heroin. At least I imagine. Anyways, it's pretty frickin awesome. Get back on the bike and shorts are now soaked, hurting bum becomes a wet hurting bum. Wet bum=bad friction. Stop and talk to a buddy working on his landscape and head up lafeyette to 14th and sprint home. Hit the doorstep and 62 miles exact. Wow, only about 40 more miles more than I had planned. Good day, hit Qdoba and the way to work for a steak queso burrito w/magno salsa, sour cream, and cheese on my cheese burrito, sure, why not and a diet root beer. Nothing goes better with a 1,700 calorie burrito than a diet soda. Gotta watch the cals somewhere I guess. This chair is usually comfy but not today my aching taint reminds me of my great ride today.

back to stl via mia

Back in the lou, vaca was good. Key West, very nice!! Miami is crazy expensive, 15 bucks for a mojito, what the fuck. I guy would get his ass kicked around here for charging that kinda dough for a drink. Min wage is what, 6 bucks an hour. If I work at taco bell I gotta work three flippin hours making dang quesadillas in order to buy you got it, one f in drink. Valet also wrecked my rental and told me "no sir, it a broken when you came." Assholes. Outta shape but going to ride fo park in the am with adam and ben.

Miami

Heading to South Beach on Wednesday and renting a conv. to do the drive to Key West. Everyone tells me it is going to be hot as hell. Well, I don't know if anyone has been outside a climate controlled environment for the past two weeks, but it is HOT AS HELL here!! Somehow, the prospect of laying by the pool all day and dousing myself with Corona when it gets too hot doesn't scare me away from the dreaded Florida Heat.... so long to missoury for a few days and so long to my bike training. I should be a full month behind schedule when I return from my trip of little exercise and overconsumption.

My Job

Standing at the Taco Bell counter last night I was thinking about the woman who had just taken my order. Very kind, polite, seemed to be happy. She was probably in her 50's. I just wondered what path brought her to working in a fast food restaurant at this age. Now there is a possibility that she has all the financial security that she needs and her one true passion is to work the register at the Shrewsbury Taco Bell/slash/Pizza Hut(because nothing goes better with an enchilada than pepperoni pizza), however I figure she is probably working here to make ends meet. At this point I realize what an asshole I am. Well, I really already knew that. This was more like reasurrance. I had just finished my long and tiring day at work where I sat in a chair, just as I am now(I'm at work writing this) and basically relaxed all day with minimal effort making about $50/hr while I am sure she is getting paid about $6.50/hr to work much harder and probably didn't have time to post on her blog. I am a pharmacist and granted I went to school for 5 years and blah, blah. Some people seem to believe that school was a real struggle and they really deserve their 100K plus salaries every year. Bullshit. Most of us, including me, came from famalies that were well off enough to provide some support to us or at least help us obtain student loans so we could cover our expenses while we went to school full time. Trust me, going to class a couple hours a day, and getting blackout drunk in most of your free time does not mean college was tough. So many people really, really suffer to provide for themselves and their famalies. At the age of 25 I have plenty of disposable income, which is exactly what I do with it, and probably will continue to do so, though I hope this has been some sort of a breathrough, while others in the world will continue to try much harder and receive much less. Life is a bitch. I am reminded how fortunate I really am and how much more I could be doing with what I am given. I really can't stand money. Despite needing to cover basic life sustaining things, I have no use for it. Making more money only makes you happier to a certain point, if I make another 50k a year will I be that much happier, probably not. Probably just be wishing I made another 75K. Money makes people do strange and awful things but it can also be put to good use. Maybe time for me to live a little more modestly and use what I have to help others. Family, friends, strangers, whoever.

blogschmog

O.K. Having trouble with the blog due to my overwhelming incapability on the pc, I cannot figure out how to attach links to others blogs on my site. Grrr. Also, it appears that there is no real search or browse function either. The only way I am able to read other people's blogs is by continually hitting next blog. I usually get something in german or russian or someone more boring than myself. Probably tinker with this for another week or so and if I still suck at navigating this site I may have to pull the plug. ____________________

Beavis

I am not even going to say anything about this.